he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You are a genius and a whore.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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