in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
