those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
