garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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