hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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