I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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