What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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