Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
