with your own penis?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
