I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
