The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The air was thick with penises
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
