We won't sleep together?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
A+ Viking dick
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
