"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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