Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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