We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
