Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so much tequila, so little girl.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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