you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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