i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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