thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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