Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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