Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
3pm strippers are depressing
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
