I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
