I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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