She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
