your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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