Me too!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
