Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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