just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
