i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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