the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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