I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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