You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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