i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
