Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
