So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
