Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
