bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
