I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
