Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize