he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All the doctor said was why
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
