4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
