apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
