Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize