Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
