Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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