Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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