It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
