why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
