I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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