i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
