You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
