Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
