I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
and she was petting her beer can
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
