marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
