I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
