I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
