dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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