youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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