Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
