Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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