His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
