So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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