I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
