I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
