not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize