R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
