i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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