It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
