My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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