Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
