i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You ruined the universe
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
