You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
