i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize