I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am midnight drunk by noon
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
