U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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