I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize